Sleepyhead In Surrey

now I know why I had to take all those crazy courses. And now I appreciate them more. I do wish, though, that I had realized this then. How I wish I could turn back time. Back to the times when I had to sit through all the lectures by Dr Pavlou, Dr Evans and Dr Sweeney. It all makes sense now. I wish it made sense then. All those infinity and m and lambda. Well, for the most part, at least.

There's this one student who asked what the routing protocol is for the MSC. Haha. And the other one confidently said probably between distance vector and link state. I almost burst out laughing. And then Anna started asking me about the good ol' Erlang and its application. It turns out I'm not that stupid. I think I at least understood the concept of cell capacity and traffic planning. Ahem. Dr Sweeney should be proud of me.

Most importantly though, I really DO wish that I did it better the first time. Now it just kills me to remember that I hated the courses. They are actually very interesting indeed. It just goes to show that in life I shouldn't be upset for the current state that I'm in eventhough it is just damn painful. Macam Yasmin Ahmad kata tu la Jangan cepat GUBRA. And the answer to my earlier post; the trip WAS fruitful.

.....wish the photos turn out nicely. it's got that person in it.....

Posted in: on February 22, 2007 at at 6:52:00 PM 0 comments

on a field trip this morning. Hope it'll be fruitful. And it makes my morning knowing the students honored my deadline. Okaylah, takpelah depa so boring pun. Janji hantar assignment.

Posted in: on at at 8:09:00 AM 0 comments

I survived the long weekend! I am fully rested and contented. Sometimes a little bit of Robert Lindsay and Zoe Wanamaker can do wonders. A little bit of that flower is also okay, although I cried buckets for her. And...there is that little issue of privacy, which, managed to go my way over the weekend. I wish you came back a looooooooooooooot...later. A dash of experimenting with the good ol' tagliatelle and a pinch of dory and a splash of oregano fed my idle hands. And a whole lot of pillow-picking. I'm back to normal, well not quite. But it's close.

We're planning a bit of a getaway next week. Hope it bears fruit or maybe even a little bun in the oven! And the shock of today is that a little someone is still a Richard Branson mascot! Honestly, I don't see how you or him can stand the temptation! Is it something to do with the mechanics? Cuz I sure can explain that after 2 years in the game. Heh.

And I wanna adopt Garfield's cousin....

Posted in: on February 21, 2007 at at 11:54:00 AM 0 comments

for letting what other people say affect my feelings. Indeed, what Mr Farok said should be viewed as an encouragement for me to really write the book. (And he's oh so good-looking I should be proud he cared!) But on the other hand, I can't help but feel discouraged. I feel like lying down into the foetal position. I feel so small and helpless.

(Q small break(!) Gawd....I really DID lie down in the foetal position after Asar prayers)
It's okay. At least now I'm up. And able to vent my anger here and then maybe later I'll forget about it. I'll have a good holiday wity myself and by myself. And just you wait, Mr. Farok! I'll have the first chapter by another 10 days. Till then, here's to Good Health and Prosperity!

Posted in: on February 16, 2007 at at 6:18:00 PM 0 comments

bila dengar cerita teman. Memang ceritanya biasa-biasa saja. Cerita susah senang zaman kanak-kanak. Cerita ibu bapa bercerai-berai atau kawin lagi. Cerita ibu yang tak ingin hidup kerana ayah kawin sembunyi. Cerita kerja sambilan di cuti sekolah untuk menampung sara hidup. Cerita main di sawah bersama lintah dan pacat. Cerita panjat pokok dan curi buah. Cerita asah pensel dengan pisau. Cerita pakai kasut sekolah sampai haus. Cerita budak nakal dan ikut kepala sendiri.

Aku kurang bersyukur bila sambil mendengar aku mencelah. Aku tak sempat merasa itu semua. Aku menyesal tak dapat melaluinya. Aku kata semua masalah itu membuat seseorang menjadi berani dan cekal. Aku kata aku dulu di jaga macam dalam kaca. Penuh teliti dan dilindungi. Aku kata lagi aku kurang kasih sayang sebab banyak pengalaman hidup aku tak lalui.

Memang aku kurang bersyukur. Aku tak bersyukur ibu bapa masih bersama. Aku tak bersyukur abang dan kakak masih mahu menjaga. Walaupun aku dah berpunya. Aku tak bersyukur masa zaman kanak-kanak cukup ceria. Apa dijanji semua dikota. Aku tak bersyukur semasa meningkat dewasa tak perlu bekerja. Mencari wang membantu biaya. Aku tak bersyukur aku boleh tinggal di rumah batu-bata. Pagi-pagi tak perlu timba air telaga.

Tapi, alhamdulillah. Aku bersyukur kerana ada teman-teman untuk bercerita. Aku bersyukur kerana dapat pengalaman melalui mereka. Aku bersyukur kerana sudah tahu ilmu yang perlu ditambah di dada. Dan aku bersyukur kerana sekarang aku sudah sedar untuk bersyukur.

Posted in: on at at 4:30:00 PM 0 comments

by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.


--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Posted in: on February 12, 2007 at at 1:51:00 PM 0 comments

you Selamat Penganting Baru, Aida!!! I'm sorry I couldn't be there. Really. Pictures, please.

Posted in: on February 10, 2007 at at 2:27:00 PM 0 comments

pegi bank dekat Section 18. Balik tu lalu la dekat hostel InTEC. Saja drive slowly in front of the hostels, the parking lot in between the Girls' and the Boys' hostels, tengok pondok guard dekat girls' hostels...kenang-kenang zaman dulu. Heheh.

Dulu kat guard tu ada sorang mak guard yang badan dia lebih besar dari seorang pak guard. Kami panggil dia Bai. Short for apa tak tau lah. Cibai ke, Kaki Tibai ke, entah! Tapi dia garang. Suka tegur girls yang pakai short sleeves. Kononnya bersalah sangat dari sisi undang-undang kolej. (Memanglah salah even dari sisi agama) Tapi yang lebih penting perangai students, bukan pakaian. Kadang-kadang they all (the girls) geram; they all pakai short sleeves, then tutup dengan cardigan (masa tu tengah trend pakai black cardigans). Bila lalu depan Bai baik jek jalan. Keluar jek dari gate dan betul-betul depan mata Bai, they all bukak cardigan dan menunjukkan dengan jelas sekali short sleeves diorang. Hahahahahaha. Bai tak leh buat apa sbb outside of the hostel compounds. Ha tu la! Nak tegur pun kena ada cara. Dia suka tengking. Tengokla sendiri tengkingan tu masuk dalam kepala the girls ke tidak. Aku pun suka buat jugak kadang-kadang. Suka nak tengok muka Bai tu tercengang campur geram. Sebab dia kurang cerdik la. Rigid sangat nak ikut peraturan. Dia tak sedar ke banyak lagi hal penting. Macam hal girls yang suka keluar gate kui 10.55 (gate tutup kui 11.00) dan tunggu boyfriend kat parking untuk pergi clubbing? Pastu tak balik bilikla. Aku pun ada jugak kuar tak balik bilik TAPI bukan clubbing. Gi tidur rumah Ah Flo sebab nak tengok Astro dan main dengan Aleya. Masa tu aku tadek kereta. So tumpang kereta Noreen. Noreen tu pun bukan drive kereta dia sendirik. Kereta kakak dia. Tapi weekends she usually has the car. Kami pi makan nasi lemak kat SS14 Subang. Masa tu Ravi famous la. Tempat bebudak lepak lepas balik clubbing. Sekarang ni dah tutup kot Ravi tu. Dia tukar kat Gazebo. Kat situ la aku punya first date dengan Joe. Muahahaha. Tak class langsung. Sampai kami baik dengan sorang waiter kat situ, nama dia Umar. Umar ni suka layan kami. Nampak jek muka kami dia terus jerit "Nasi lemak ayam sambal dua! Teh tarik dua!". Heheheh. Suka aku. Takyah tunggu waiter bangla nak amik order.

Kat parking lot in between girls' dengan boys' hostel tu dulu tempat aku first time jumpa Joe. Dia parking kat situ nak amik aku go out for the first time. Dan lepas-lepas tu selalu la jadi port untuk dia tunggu aku. Kat situ la jugak pun kami budak-budak tunggu bas pagi-pagi masa nak pegi class. Kami tu refer to orang yang tak kaya dan tak ada kereta ni. Mana-mana yang parents kaya tu dan juga yang kaki tumpang senang la naik kereta nak pegi class kat Section 17. Aku tak. So terpaksa la berebut-rebut. Bas pulak bukannya banyak. So bas yang cantik tu pun dah ropa bas mini. Sikit bulan lepas tu nasib baik ada bas mini masuk dalam area hostel tu. Bayar la 50 sen ke 30 sen dah. Aku tak ingat. So tak berasak sangat la. Time pun flexible sikit sebab bas mini tu available every half an hour tak silap aku.

Dulu masa first semester aku duk block tepi sekali. Dekat dengan gate. Warden yang duk tingkat bawah masa tu Puan Aini ke apa tah. Tapi silap la. Dia Chiep Warden. The head. Pastu skema a.k.a garang jugak. Peraturan hostel ialah tak boleh bawak masuk lelaki dalam bilik. Tapi ada sekali tu aku ajak kakak aku dengan husband dia masuk bilik. Sebab abang ipar aku tu nak tolong angkat PC masuk dalam bilik. Pastu since dah ada PC akak aku pun pesan supaya sentiasa kunci pintu bilik. Aku tak pernah pun sebelum tu kunci bilik. Aku pun test la kunci. Apa punya bengong aku masa tu pegi test kunci dengan menutup pintu bilik tu betul-betul. Sekali kunci tu jam. Akak aku dengan husband dia dengan anak dia umur setahun ada kat dalam. Aku plak kat luar. Pintu takleh bukak. Meraung anak sedara aku. Terpaksa la jumpa Puan Aini. Mintak kunci spare. Terus dia basuh aku. "Ha tu lah, tuhan nak tunjuk. Takleh bawak masuk lelaki tapi awak bawak masuk jugak. Kan dah terkurung?" Dia tak ada kunci spare. Last-last aku terpaksa kopak pintu tu. Pintu pun dah berlobang. Nak kunci apa lagi?

Macam-macam lagi la cerita pasal zaman aku kat situ. Tak sangka after seven years I am back in Shah Alam and boleh visit tempat ni during my lunch hour. Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang inikan pulak tempat jatuh cinta mueheh.

Meanwhile, saksikan video clip ini..

Posted in: on February 09, 2007 at at 1:02:00 PM 0 comments

kalau suka bersolek ke, suka melawa ke, mungkin dapat anak perempuan. Tapi...aku mengandung ke?

Posted in: on February 08, 2007 at at 4:32:00 PM 0 comments

Ya Allah, *pls give me the serenity to accept those that I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...

* courtesy of Marc Cherry, heh.

Posted in: on February 07, 2007 at at 3:32:00 PM 0 comments

agak betul juga yek when they say sometimes other people are the ones that can see our strengths and weaknesses while we ourselves fail to see them. Thank you, sha, for having confidence in me. Aku sendiri still can't find the strength in me to pursue it --- permanent head damage? It takes a lot of guts. Tabik As ngan Shidi! Nanti kirim kat aku Norwegian Salmon hokeh?

Self discovery over KFC, anyone?

Posted in: on February 06, 2007 at at 3:20:00 PM 0 comments

....Banana Boat will no longer be the same. And I didn't even get a single tan line.
****Romance in the pool is just that -- romantic; BUT not when there are 10 other people in the same pool
****A hairy back is not cool when it's wet. Shave, people, shave!

Posted in: on February 05, 2007 at at 4:27:00 PM 0 comments

it was the company. The room was cramped. The air-conditioning reminded me of winter. Yeah, it was that cold. The space was limited. The tv show was that of southern america's cocoa industry and the riches of chocolate it brought. But all was ignored as discussions abound. How best to solve that sudoku puzzle? What garments were on sale? Which RM7.50 per pair shoes were comfortable? And indeed how could one afford property in Penang when prices were skyrocketing. It was just a one day event but I found it relaxing. Ya, Man, Jijin, and especially Ajmal were wonderful. I got my dose of baby smell the whole day. That about covers my cravings for another month or so. It didn't just end there late afternoon. No, there was food to be had and have food we did. Shasha and Ishkin joined the crowd, albeit a little bit late. Dinner was just passable. But the conversations were good. Siti Nurhaliza was one topic. The success, or rather, the unsuccessfulness of a certain laksa outlet was another. I regretted that there wasn't enough time to tour the whole mall with Kak Ida. You sure have a nose for good bargains! And I'm only kidding about Siti Nurhaliza. It was actually her husband that we were talking about; how he manages to always get the million ringgit deals without even having to possess so much as an office building.

Posted in: on February 02, 2007 at at 9:23:00 AM 0 comments

towards No 6, Jalan Kristal Lima 7/70E. Heh. We're treading on new grounds. I'm afraid but somehow sometime in the near future we're gonna have to do it. Might as well rough it now. I'm plowing full steam ahead. Some people are gonna get gunned down. Some people, on the other hand, will get the full privileges of a luxury cruise. Mak, raya tahun depan yek? Abah, serai ke daun pandan?

Meanwhile, this brought some of the familiar feelings back...

Posted in: on January 31, 2007 at at 4:12:00 PM 0 comments

By far this is the most boring class that I've taught. You get only 9 students but you expect that some of them would be jovial and funny. At least that was the experience that I got for the past two semesters. Tapi kali ini masyaallah! how boring. The kids (some of them are actually OLDER than me!) that are intelligent and enthusiastic enough turn out to be skema, those that do look like they could make some noises in the classroom are not interested in the subject. And there is a couple that are so quiet and introverted that I just don't know whether they understand what I am jabbering about or not. But the IP addressing issues did get them stoked. I got asked a lot of questions, made to conjure case studies out of thin air. Luckily, Uncle Cisco has helped me a lot. Now I do have the extra confidence to teach especially IP addressing. But in between there were no funny jokes, no singing remarks. I kinda expected this type of crowd to be the good ones before I started teaching but now I long for the antics of Suhaimi and Ismail, and the cheekiness of Nurul and Hilmi. Guys, repeat some papers why don'tcha?

Meanwhile, check out the flowers I got for my birthday last year. Ferrerro Rocher no less!

Posted in: on January 25, 2007 at at 10:39:00 AM 0 comments

and freebies? We just LOVE them, don't we? I was at a launch party of a Learning Management System recently and I've seen a crowd build up just to get the freebies. No matter that they are not the targeted audience, that they never have and never will use the system. There were freebies to be had and they weren't shy about queuing up to get all the goodies. Or is it a universal thing?

Posted in: on January 19, 2007 at at 9:33:00 AM 0 comments

It's beginning to change. My point of view, that is. Ever since I took the plunge to make myself better spiritually. I hope it keeps up. The only thing is to remember to accept the negatives as a stepping stone. I'm happy, though, that the offers have come pouring in. I hope it's a blessing. Sri Iskandar is beginning to look better. To buy or not to buy? To accept or not to accept? Can I have an ice-cream sundae and mull over it or should I go straight to the cleaners?

Posted in: on January 16, 2007 at at 10:59:00 AM 0 comments

Aku pegi deposit cashier's order kat machine. Boleh ke?

Posted in: on January 10, 2007 at at 10:40:00 AM 0 comments

I always get frozen at the keyboard. It seemed like ages ago since I could express myself here. Bleargh ... guess updates will be reserved for another time

Posted in: on December 19, 2006 at at 12:31:00 PM 0 comments

Orang sakit, tak boleh makan ni!
I'm suffering here. This feverish sensation refuses to leave my body. Cukup makan, what? Cukup pakai, what? Apsal nak demam lagi ni? Tak laratnya. Tapi semalam demam-demam pun sempat tuang training semata-mata nak tgk Cinta The Movie.

Posted in: on December 01, 2006 at at 2:40:00 PM 0 comments